This Monday (jan 6th) I am being admitted to the hospital to try to figure out what my body needs to help it get better. The last few months I haven't been feeling well, and after trying two courses of IV antibiotics and still declining, they have decided to do a bronchoscopy to look at my lungs and see if there is something else going on. They will also do a cat scan of my sinuses to see if they are causing part of the problem. I will also receive aggressive respiratory therapy and oxygen testing while I'm in the hospital. I will also be starting a new IV antibiotic and most likely starting a long term course of high dose oral antibiotics. I'm am thankful to be walking with Christ through this journey, and I'm so thankful for the bright hope I have in Jesus. I'm so glad Jesus gives me hope, even if these medicines don't give my body much hope.
I've been thinking about facing all of these uncertainties and I'm glad I can face them with courage. And with this on my mind, I think it's so cool how God brought psalm 31:24 to my attention..."be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for The Lord!" And so, I wait. And while my flesh is weak, He alone is my strength and I CAN take courage (psalm 73:26).
I'm so thankful for the way The Lord works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). As psalm 31:3 says, For His name's sake He guides me... that's well said. It's for HIS glory. And so, as we all walk through this journey, whatever it looks like for each of us, let us remind each other to give God all the glory (Hebrews 10:24)!
I love to laugh, it's my favorite. But sometimes I can't. Whenever I laugh, I start to cough really hard, and then I might gag and throw up. That's not pretty. And the reality is that this life is not always fun, but boy oh boy can we have fun along the way. I'm thankful for the fun we can have in the midst of hard situations. Don't forget to laugh everyday...if you can. Or maybe just smile. Smiling is good too. Smiling and laughing reminds me of Gods goodness. In the midst of all of the hard stuff, someone can fart and we can laugh and it reminds me of the blessings God rains down on us.
Let's not waste the hard things in our lives. Let's embrace them, walk with Christ and trust Him...because we surely don't have control. I'm so glad He is almighty. I can rest in that.
Let's pray for endurance for each other. We have confidence that The Lord will persevere His faithful people as Psalm 31:23 tells us. But let's remember the struggles we face in this life and beg for endurance as we walk through each day... Whatever that looks like in our lives. I find myself becoming exhausted with my daily treatments. 1-2 hours of therapy, 6-7 nebulizer treatments, 50ish pills a day, and coughing my brains out, and all of that to feel so/so. After all of that work, still not feeling well can get exhausting. I ask God for something I know He supplies, endurance. Let's all ask for the things we know God gives, grace, endurance, strength, patience, love, guidance. He gives good gifts!
And so, as God is a creative God, He is preparing me for my hospital stay, and all of the uncertainties to come. I have my "box of courage" I will be bringing with me to the hospital. It is a cardboard box I have filled with things to do, eat, color, throw (light up ball), a silver platter to place on my bedside table to hold my Chapstick, which will instantly become fancy Chapstick when placed on a silver platter...and other fun things, which will encourage me to have courage. Oh yes, and don't forget the fluorescent pink poster board which reads "courage" that will be in my room as well. I have determined to rely on Jesus and not try to handle this on my own. I have my box full of dollar store treats (yes, my silver platter is "real" dollar store silver) and I will have fun and smile and laugh while in my sterile prison this week, but ultimately my refuge is in God and in His strength I will keep on fighting!
The Frey Life
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"May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word." Psalm 119:74