During this season of Advent, we will be reposting a series of reflection which Peter wrote a couple of years ago... may they encourage your hearts and stir your affections for our Savior. May your Christmas season be full of joy... because there's a reason to celebrate! day 1: The curse that anticipated ChristmasThe LORD God said to the serpent, "...I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel." The celebration of the Christmas season seems to begin earlier and earlier each year. The Thanksgiving holiday has in some ways been swallowed up in busyness and preparation of Christmas. The stores are filled with tinsel and toys. Christmas music begins to play across radio stations and throughout the shops. Our culture is so enamored with the colors, carols, and commercials that accompany the “Christmas Craze” that the anticipation can’t seem to begin soon enough.
The anticipation of Christmas didn’t start with commercials. It didn’t start with carols. It didn’t even start with the birth of Christ. The anticipation started long before the virgin Mary conceived. The anticipation of Christmas started in the Garden of Eden. It started with a curse. In the aftermath of Adam and Eve’s disobedience—listening to the deception of Satan over the instruction of God—the Lord God pronounced the penalty of their destructive choices. One by one, God delivered the bad news to the serpent, the woman, and the man. It is here that the Lord God sentences the serpent to a curse—a curse that announced a battle between Satan and mankind, a battle in which a descendent of the woman would one day defeat Satan with a fatal strike to the head. It is a curse that anticipates a son who could undo the destruction of sin. It is a curse that anticipates Christmas. These words came to Satan as a curse, but to us they come as a promise. It a promise that God would send a Son who would deliver a fatal strike to Satan, a son who would redeem us from the destruction of sin. This curse is the promise of Christ. This promise is why we anticipate the celebration of Christmas. So this Christmas, instead of getting caught up in the chaos and confusion of our culture’s celebration, it is my prayer that we will get caught up in the anticipation of a son, the promise of Christ, who came to renew what our sin had destroyed. That’s a reason to celebrate.
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6 days of IV antibiotics done and I had a follow up CF clinic appointment today. Guess what?! My lung function improved 3% I still have a long way to go, and my body is pretty worn down by all of these hefty drugs, but improvement in lung capacity is encouraging! I am clinging to Gods promises that He is with me and He is all I need! What are you thankful for today? I'm thankful for laughter. April fools day brings some good laughs, and laughter is good! It's my favorite form of airway clearance and strengthening my lungs :) I will continue these IVs another couple of weeks. I see my sinus surgeon next week, as well as my CF team. I will keep you all updated when I have news. Thank you for journeying with us and thank you for your encouragement and prayers! ALSO... Today is the 1 year anniversary when we picked up Oliver! It has been an amazing year with that boy, and we have loved watching him grow and learn as he continues his training to become my helpmate. Thankful for Oliver James. All my love, Mary On Tuesday I had a clinic visit with my CF team. As usual I got my weight, blood pressure, temp, and oxygen checked. All looked fine. Then a look at the X-ray of my lungs, looked fine. Then listen to my lungs, not as good as they usually sound. And then the PFTs (pulmonary function test)...not so good. I saw the lowest number I have seen yet. I lost 9% in about a month (which was already significantly lower than my base line). All of that that put together...my lungs are not doing well, and they need some help. The reason I haven't been feeling as well, coughing more and just overall feeling lousy is because of the chronic bacteria my lungs fight. Thankfully I'm not contagious and I can't give this bacteria to normal people, but boy oh boy it's rough for my body to fight. There's the daily reminder of the battle that's going on inside me... the coughing to the point of vomiting, the feeling of being air hungry, or the laughing that only leads to another coughing attack. Thankfully, there are times when I get a few months break, when breathing becomes easier and my body feels better for a bit. But there are other times when we can't quite get the bacteria under control, and I'm constantly fighting the infection. I go through weeks of oral antibiotics, months of inhaled antibiotics, and the final step is to use IV antibiotics. Sometimes none of it works. And that's where we find ourselves right now. I am so thankful... for Gods goodness to me. I can see how He works in our lives in big ways and small ways everyday! Sometimes it's the evidence of His mercy that makes me smile. The fact that He desires to have a relationship with us and walk with us through this life is pretty amazing. His faithfulness is astounding. Every time I think about it, I can see His faithfulness I woke up today! I think back to what God was teaching me a couple years ago when I had kidney stones (I don't recommend those). He kept on reminding my heart, "you have all you need in me". Whenever we walk into CF clinic and start talking about treatment options, the big questions is what will work? What does my body need? The answer to those questions are almost always "we don't know". But there is one answer my heart knows "I have all I need in Jesus". To Him we cling! Come on people! Let's cling to Jesus! I am choosing to follow Him with joy and I'm committing to finding His hands at work in the midst of a situation that doesn't make much sense to my human eyes. Let's work together to do just that! Whatever we go through, let's help each other and work together to see Gods hands at work. He is working, He is alive and working! Thank you for walking through this journey with us. I am thankful to have an Almighty God. Mighty in power and love, and He often shows us His love though His people! All of YOU! Here's a picture of what life looks like from day to day... Because my body is working extra hard just to breathe, I burn a lot of energy, which means I need sleep. When I wake up, I am usually coughing a lot because my lungs have been at rest through the night. I can't eat anything when I wake up (for the first hour or more usually) because I cough so hard I gag, and if there is anything in my stomach, then I throw up... which is exhausting after coughing and especially tiring right after waking up... I speak from experience of throwing up my coffee this morning while taking a shower...pleasant shower :) Then I do 30 min of vest and pulmozyme and saline (2 nebulizers). Then my lungs are tired from all of that, and I sit and rest some more. Then every couple days I get the feeling of "I MUST get out of the house!" So Peter will take me to Target, or Walmart... or the Dollar tree! I know, but it's exciting for me! Haha... I also love to spend time with friends, or babies (as long as not one is sick or has any snot of any color coming out of their face). In the evenings I usually get a burst of energy, and my lungs sometimes feel better in the evenings from being awake all day, and that's when I usually do training with Oliver. It's a special time for us to work together and bond. He loves all the treats, and I love seeing his progress. Right now he is working on going in the other room and finding my bag of medicines. We worked at first with having him bring it to me from a few feet away, but now we hide in it the other room and I ask him to get it and he dashes away to go get it for me. Good boy Ollie! A few times recently we have been able to go to the beach and I love going and watching all the dogs play, and Mr. Ollie loves it! He loves to get in the water too...even when it's 39 degrees out! Brrr. When we get back to the car is usually start coughing really hard and I almost threw up last time, but ah ha, I didn't! I'm learning some pretty good breathing control to trick my body into stoping the cough, and therefore stoping the vom! Man o man, those waves. I love watching the waves and realizing Gods power through something as simple as water. I have no control over the waves, but God does, and He also has control over my body. I trust Him! "Lord, help me to trust you more". Each day is different. Some days I feel quite fine, and some days I can't leave the apartment. But whatever each day brings, I have fun and enjoy it. Ok, well, that's my update. I started IVs Wednesday, so I will be on them for a few weeks, and we will wait to see if they work! My body reminds me to groan for the time when we will be in full communion and union with Christ in heaven. That will be some amazing communion with my Savior! Romans 8 has been an amazing encouragement for us...be encouraged! "18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." Thank you again and again for walking with us as we fight and I do my best to do all my medicines and treatments.
All my love, Mary Update from the last few weeks... I was in the hospital for a week at the beginning of January. I have been on IV antibiotics 24/7 since I left the hospital. My lung function has improved slightly, but I am not back to my baseline. The cat scan of my head that was done while I was in the hospital showed that my sinuses are blocked (due to CF) so I saw an otolaryngologist on Wednesday and she is going to do surgery on Tuesday (February 4th). I met with pre-op on Friday and everything is set to go. I will be admitted to the hospital after surgery to be followed by my CF doctors while I recover. This week was busy.... Monday- blood work Tuesday-liver doctor Wednesday- cf doctor and otolaryngologist Friday- 2 1/2 hour pre-op appointment Exhausting? Yes. But I am so thankful they have found something that might help my body get better. By cleaning out my sinuses (and drilling holes bigger -in between my sinuses) I won't have as much dripping into my lungs all the time. Boy this is glorious, mucus dripping, drilling in my head, etc... haha. Through it all, we are so thankful for the love and support of so many of you. We take life one day at a time, and it's amazing how the Lord provides the strength and encouragement we need for each day. To God be the glory, Great things He has done. We are praying that at the end of all of the IVs and surgery I can gain some lung function back. Even if I don't we can rest in His Almighty arms. He is a gracious God. He gives and takes away, blessed be the name of The Lord. -Mary & Peter This Monday (jan 6th) I am being admitted to the hospital to try to figure out what my body needs to help it get better. The last few months I haven't been feeling well, and after trying two courses of IV antibiotics and still declining, they have decided to do a bronchoscopy to look at my lungs and see if there is something else going on. They will also do a cat scan of my sinuses to see if they are causing part of the problem. I will also receive aggressive respiratory therapy and oxygen testing while I'm in the hospital. I will also be starting a new IV antibiotic and most likely starting a long term course of high dose oral antibiotics. I'm am thankful to be walking with Christ through this journey, and I'm so thankful for the bright hope I have in Jesus. I'm so glad Jesus gives me hope, even if these medicines don't give my body much hope.
I've been thinking about facing all of these uncertainties and I'm glad I can face them with courage. And with this on my mind, I think it's so cool how God brought psalm 31:24 to my attention..."be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for The Lord!" And so, I wait. And while my flesh is weak, He alone is my strength and I CAN take courage (psalm 73:26). I'm so thankful for the way The Lord works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). As psalm 31:3 says, For His name's sake He guides me... that's well said. It's for HIS glory. And so, as we all walk through this journey, whatever it looks like for each of us, let us remind each other to give God all the glory (Hebrews 10:24)! I love to laugh, it's my favorite. But sometimes I can't. Whenever I laugh, I start to cough really hard, and then I might gag and throw up. That's not pretty. And the reality is that this life is not always fun, but boy oh boy can we have fun along the way. I'm thankful for the fun we can have in the midst of hard situations. Don't forget to laugh everyday...if you can. Or maybe just smile. Smiling is good too. Smiling and laughing reminds me of Gods goodness. In the midst of all of the hard stuff, someone can fart and we can laugh and it reminds me of the blessings God rains down on us. Let's not waste the hard things in our lives. Let's embrace them, walk with Christ and trust Him...because we surely don't have control. I'm so glad He is almighty. I can rest in that. Let's pray for endurance for each other. We have confidence that The Lord will persevere His faithful people as Psalm 31:23 tells us. But let's remember the struggles we face in this life and beg for endurance as we walk through each day... Whatever that looks like in our lives. I find myself becoming exhausted with my daily treatments. 1-2 hours of therapy, 6-7 nebulizer treatments, 50ish pills a day, and coughing my brains out, and all of that to feel so/so. After all of that work, still not feeling well can get exhausting. I ask God for something I know He supplies, endurance. Let's all ask for the things we know God gives, grace, endurance, strength, patience, love, guidance. He gives good gifts! And so, as God is a creative God, He is preparing me for my hospital stay, and all of the uncertainties to come. I have my "box of courage" I will be bringing with me to the hospital. It is a cardboard box I have filled with things to do, eat, color, throw (light up ball), a silver platter to place on my bedside table to hold my Chapstick, which will instantly become fancy Chapstick when placed on a silver platter...and other fun things, which will encourage me to have courage. Oh yes, and don't forget the fluorescent pink poster board which reads "courage" that will be in my room as well. I have determined to rely on Jesus and not try to handle this on my own. I have my box full of dollar store treats (yes, my silver platter is "real" dollar store silver) and I will have fun and smile and laugh while in my sterile prison this week, but ultimately my refuge is in God and in His strength I will keep on fighting! Mary had the opportunity to share her story of living with Cystic Fibrosis and finding her hope and strength in Christ. We hope you are encouraged by the work that God is doing in and through her life! The Lord is always working. He told us that on the 7th day He rested...but I know He is back at work now. I see the evidence of His perfect timing, his plan, his good and perfect will.
For the last month and a half Peter and I have had the privilege of being back home in Hagerstown with our families. As each day goes by, we are reminded of Gods faithfulness as we celebrate life. Behind each life is a story. It has been a blessing beyond what our imagination could dream of to see the stories of our families and our lives being built by The Lord. Do you remember that verse that talks about how man can make plans but God decides the way it really happens...it's true! I'm so thankful The Lord directs our steps. We thought we would be in Massachusetts right now. Peter would be sitting in class all day and studying in the library. His classroom is now the house, and his library is the bedroom or the kitchen table. Peters classes were switched to online...so now we can be here! Right where The Lord knew we would be all along! What a blessing, what a privilege, what a joy to be in the arms of the Almighty! He directs our steps. He gives us everything we need! He already has given us everything we need...Himself! To God be the glory, Great things He has done! Leaning on the everlasting arms...sing it with me...Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms! MF "And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit,
groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies." Romans 8:23 On August 26, Mary and I received a phone call around 2:30 pm that my dad had collapsed on the golf course and was taken to the hospital. Dad was on the eastern shore of MD, playing in a golf tournament in Cambridge. When we got the call, we didn't know if it was a heart attack, a stroke, or anything else. I remember pacing our living room crying out to God in prayer as Mary began to pack our bags. There were so many unknowns, but Mary and I knew we wanted to get to Maryland. We got in the car and started on our 10 hour trip from Boston to Baltimore. Not long after we had left Boston, we got a call that the hospital had run scans and found five tumors in my dad's brain. The collapse on the golf course had been a seizure caused by the tumors. In the hours and days that followed, we discovered that lung cancer had spread to my dad's brain. We arrived at the University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore around 1:30 am. Dad was sedated and on a ventilator in the ICU. My mom and two sisters were there, and since we were only allowed two people in the room at a time, we set up camp in the waiting room and took shifts sitting with Dad through the night. I've spent a lot of time in waiting rooms. They aren't all that comfortable. The seats are awkward. The walls are plain. The temperature never feels just right. Waiting rooms are thick with fear. You can almost feel the anxiety in the air. Waiting rooms are a most unpleasant place... because in a waiting room we are forced to wait. In the waiting room, we have no control over the future. It is in the waiting room that we realize that we have no power over life, that we have no control over death. It is in the waiting room that we are forced to recognize the frailty of our humanity. And it is in the waiting room that we are forced to hope. Some will try to wish. They will try to wish away the past. They will wish for things to work out in the future. They will spend their time in the waiting room wishing that things will work out. But wishing only leaves us wanting... And so it is hope that sustains us. It is hope that our God "in whose hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind" (Job 12:10)... that he is in control. It is hope that though we sit in the waiting room powerless, our trust is in the power and wisdom of our Father in heaven. It is hope that one day suffering will be no more, and our frail bodies will be redeemed. It hope that "neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39). It is in the waiting room that my hope... not my wish... sustains me. My dad is now undergoing chemotherapy and radiation for the cancer. It's a journey of ups and downs. It is full of pain. It is full of unknowns. And so we wait... but not without hope. |
The Frey Life
Welcome to our blog! "May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word." Psalm 119:74
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